


The Shadow Side

by GoodGollyMissYollie (Yollie183)



Series: Ride The Lightning [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drinking, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:26:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9674888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yollie183/pseuds/GoodGollyMissYollie
Summary: Steve Rogers works for a discreet private security company and gets assigned to James Barnes, a musician who takes the idea of 'sex, drugs and rock 'n roll' just a little too seriously.***THIS IS A COMPANION WORK TOGoddamn Electric***





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nerdamongnerds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdamongnerds/gifts).



> Hi! So, I asked the wonderful people who are reading my fic [Goddamn Electric](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6756670/chapters/15441367) if they wanted scenes from Bucky's POV, and this is that!  
> Please go read that if you haven't yet, this won't make sense out of context (sorry!)
> 
> Title from the album of the same name by Andy Black.
> 
> This work is a gift to Nerdamongnerds, who suggested it in a comment: Thank you!!!
> 
> This takes place circa 2013, so around 3 years before Bucky meets Steve. I know the relationship tag says Steve/Bucky, and that is because they are the main pairing for the whole series, not just this one piece. 
> 
> And Sean is basically Donald Glover. Because, reasons.

_Nothing left, now I'm feeling numb_

_And just like you, I couldn't love someone_

_There is no one, I can belong to_

_Take you out, never bring you back again, back again, back again_

_Can't recall how we lost our innocence, innocence_

_Nothing in the cage of my ribcage_

_Got no heart to break, like it that way_

_Nothing in the cage of my ribcage_

_Emptiness is safe, keep it that way_

_On the path never leading home_

_Cut it out from my flesh and bone_

_And I feel like, I can't see anything_

_Used to be, I had light_

_I had fire in my chest_

_Oh, but now I'm all out_

_And I've got nothing left_

_Nothing in the cage of my ribcage_

_Got no heart to break, like it that way_

_Nothing in the cage of my ribcage_

_Emptiness is safe, keep it that way_

_\- Ribcage, Andy Black_

~

 

Bucky tipped a shot of luminescent blue alcohol past his lips. It was cloyingly sweet with an unpleasant aftertaste, but he didn’t care. He calmly pocketed the vial of white powder he’d been handed along with the shot and got up from his stool at the bar. The club was loud, too ‘neon and black light’ for Bucky’s taste, but he got the best blow in the city here, and that made the shitty music and the barely-legal clientele worth it.

“Hey!” A voice yelled to his left, and Bucky turned to see a guy wearing a Tool shirt. “Aren’t you James Barnes?”

The guy, just a kid, really, had dark skin and large, beautiful eyes, his full lips quirked in an almost shy smile.

“Yeah, I am,” Bucky said, conjuring an answering smile from somewhere.

“I love your music, man! I’ve had your last album on repeat on my iPod for weeks.”

“Aw,” Bucky tried for bashful, “thank you, that’s always great to hear.”

“I’m Sean,” the kid said, holding out his hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Bucky shook his hand.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’d like that,” Bucky nodded, and let himself be maneuvered back onto the stool he’d just vacated.

One drink turned to two, turned to them stumbling drunkenly into Sean’s apartment at two in the morning.

Bucky let Sean pull him into his bedroom, lifting his arms passively to be divested of his shirt as Sean kissed him, lips and tongue insistent.

Bucky shuddered as the kid shoved a hand down the back of his pants, and Sean clearly mistook it for a sign of enjoyment as he gripped harder, grinding his hips against Bucky’s.

Bucky pushed back, leading the kid toward the bed. He’d learned that showing eagerness often made things go a lot more quickly. And as much as he preferred being here instead of with Pierce, Bucky would still rather have been alone.

Bucky was good at this, and he did everything with barely a conscious thought. Touch here, lick there, make the right noises at the right time. Sean spread his legs, all but commanding Bucky to top. Bucky did, even though he felt uncomfortable with it. Having that level of control over someone else wasn’t what he was made for. But Sean tugged at his hips, urging him on and Bucky did, moving in a way he knew would feel good for the kid, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to see it.

He waited until the kid sagged back on the mattress before pulling out and removing the condom. He hadn’t come, but he was no longer hard. He got up to throw the latex in the bin, and grabbed his underwear off the floor.

“You’re leaving?” the kid asked.

Bucky turned to look at him, spread out on the bed, one hand behind his head. His chocolate skin looked good against the pale green bedspread, his large soulful eyes heavy-lidded, his lips parted just a little.

He was sweet, funny, good-looking. Bucky thought that if he had been different, Sean might be someone he’d have liked to really get to know.

_As if he would ever want to know something as filthy as you, Jimmy._

Bucky dropped his gaze. “Yeah, we have rehearsal tomorrow morning.”

“Oh.” Sean looked disappointed and Bucky avoided his eyes as he finished getting dressed. “Maybe I could give you my number?”

Bucky shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” he told the kid. “There would be no point.”

 

He left the apartment and walked several blocks before realizing he had no idea where he was going. He tugged a hand through his hair and turned in a half circle, feeling utterly lost.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is short, sorry. I will update the main fic. Eventually.


End file.
